supamun's Diaryland Diary

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mummy's boy

Today went for after service dinner with my cg at ps. As usual I spotted friends whom i've not seen for ages, like hsien yao and ker wei. Ker Wei is an inspiring example of a "PSLE FAILURE" (in his own words) who worked hard to get 3 As and a B for his As. To some people this result might be ordinary but I believes he deserves affirmation for his hard work. I, particularly, respect his mum even more, for I'm sure she put a lot of effort in changing him.
Talking about mums, a damn sad (in my opinion la) event happened to me yesterday. It was a happy Friday night, and I was going to knock off at 5 pm, very happy that with a very well planned system of doing my work, I had managed to complete all my tasks at 450 pm, a monumental occasion given the tedious work I was required to complete that day. I had prayed fervantly for my boss' boss not to complete his projection manning that day, because I didn't want to stay back and complete it, knowing it would have taken me like mebbe 3 more hrs. However, right before I left, at about 502 pm, my boss went to ask her boss (my boss' boss) about it. And to initial amusement he said he had finished it, and it was ready to be sent out.When reality kicked in, and after a quick analysis of the situation, i was desperate to bail out immediately. So I told my boss no hurry, can complete on monday, but in my opinion, compared to other clerical bosses, she's a slavedriver, and she wasn't having any of it. So she said resolutely "no, u stay back". I was angry for various reasons, because my back hurt, because it was a friday, because it was unfair to me. It's fair to say I'm quite neurotic, but negative feelings threatened to overwhelm me.
I was however reminded by one of jiehui's blog entries not to live a double life, and so i made a decent effort to condition my heart and try my best to help my boss since at her insistence there was no way out for me. however, try as i might, i still felt sorry for her, coz i could tell she was feeling slightly sorry for me, and she was also staying back to do the work with me. it's hard to be angry when ur boss is working with you to complete a task. furthermore, i respect her coz she's an old woman mebbe slightly older than my mum, with a face mapped with wrinkles of past joys and sorrows of a period thrice as old as i was. don't ask me how, but i can tell she's a fantastic mum to her kids, so i respect her. so during that time i abandoned my usual wise cracks and tried my best to help her finish the task. in the end instead of 5, i went home at 640, and reached at 745. i tried to tell myself i should not feel sorry for her, afterall my official working hrs end at 5 pm on fridays, i've suffered enough since enlistment blah blah blah but how can u refuse a woman who you draw parallels with your own mum. quite impossible. I feel in future this 'motherly' respect for my boss will make me a victim of more shit. hai. blame me for being a kind of mummy's boy.

9:58 p.m. - 2007-04-28

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